I Forgot How To DPS

I am NOT kidding, either.

Last night, just minutes before first pull I recieved a call from my mom, telling me my dad had been admitted to the hospital on account if inexplicable, and unsootheable stomach pain. Not more than five months ago my sister had been admitted to the hosptial for similar reasons, the result of which was emergency surgery on her intestines, leaving her touch and go for a few weeks. (she’s fine now btw)

But my dad… I was told they made him drink some stuff then took an MRI and were then awaiting the results. My mom promised she’d call as soon as they knew what was going on, likely long after I went to bed, and then hung up.

I’m a dweller by nature. I’ll let something as little as a friend getting married without telling me eat at me for months, even years. thankfully, this time, I wouldn’t have to wait that long, only until later at night. Perhaps three to five hours later.

As I hung up the phone I had a choice, either tell my guildmates about my dad and not raid last night, or raid, and try to keep it to myself.

I’m really bad at keeping stuff to myself.

The first option wouldn’t have done me any good though. My parents live some six hours away. It wasn’t like I could rush over to the hospital to be with him. If I wasn’t raiding I would be fumbling with my tea cultures, puttering about the kitchen, wringing my hands, worrying, and generally sending my blood pressure through the roof.

If I raided, then at least I could have something to take my mind off of it for a few hours.

I can honestly say, that during the whole night, I was not actively dwelling on my worry. Believe me, this was a very good thing.

However, I also found myself incapable of performing at a level that I’m used to. We took out Thaddius first and it was abundantly clear to me that, unbelievably, I’d forgotten how to dps.

Recount showed I almost hit 5k dps though, but that’s not how it felt in the fight. I would go for long streaches of time without Savage Roar up. And still other times I re-applied Savage Roar 5 times in a row with only 2-3 ticks on him, and there was much rake spamming.

I think I even used kitty swipe a few times.

But I didn’t kill anybody, and was at least prompt with my polarity shifts. If I didn’t have the concentration to execute a proper dps sequence, then at least I could give others my buff and refrain from killing those with opposite charges.

Sapphiron wasn’t much better either, though I managed. At the end of the fight I could be seen standing squarely in a blizzard. I remember watching the blizzard, and watching my health go down, and not being able to do anything about it. My brain wasn’t working right.

Thankfully he died anyway.

Things got better though, once we went to Kel’Thuzad.

I /w the raid leader, specifically asking if I could main tank. My tanking attack sequence is disgustingly simple, I just mash my attacking buttons and click my cooldowns when they’re up. There’s no juggling debuffs. I knew I would be a huge liability as dps. If I strayed too close to the tank and became ice-bolted I could wipe the raid. If I was the main tank I didn’t have to worry about it, that was melee’s problem to worry they didn’t get too close to me.

So, I got to Main Tank, and my brain short-fuze didn’t seem to cause too many problems.

Then we went to Malygos.

I also MT’d Malygos, but I think that was more a result of the fact that I’ve done it before, and we weren’t in too much of a hurry to train another tank to do the job.

We had a few wipes before we got him down, there were grumblings about where I was kiting him, how far I should pull him out, leaving the tail in the raid.

I’d started to get frustrated. Randomly, my eyes were tearing up, and I knew it wasn’t because of the raid. See, even though I wasn’t actively dwelling on my worry for my dad, it was still there, and my body was reacting to it.

My brain wasn’t functioning correctly, my attention was everywhere, and my eyes were randomly tearing.

I did my best though, and we eventually killed Malygos, but I’d like to see our warrior tank familiar with how to tank this boss, just in case I find myself mentally unstable again.

My mother did call later that night.

It was somewhere between midnight and one in the morning. Long story short, my dad needs to have his gall bladder removed. It’s an intense relief to know it wasn’t something much, much worse.

As I hung up the phone and rolled over to go back to sleep I started shaking, uncontrollably, violently, shaking. All night my mind had been numb, but my body was reacting to my nerves anyway.

It’s very curious the way things work.

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  • Comments (1)
    • Kal
    • February 12th, 2009

    Really glad to hear that your dad’s going to be okay. I had my gall bladder out, and it’s nothing to worry about.

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