Posts Tagged ‘ Norn ’

Ink = Badass

Woah what happened?  I guess that’s the consequence of working two jobs, fun stuff like blogging begins to fall by the wayside.

Be that as it may, I actually have another character customization chart for you!  This one is for the ever awesome norn men.  Nornly men.  Just like the girls, the men are sporting some truly wicked tattoos.

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Also: Is anybody else starting to go stir-crazy waiting for the mesmer last profession?  It’s like Christmas, only worse.

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Get Some Ink On That Girl

Right, so I have a confession to make.  I’m pretty much straight as they come.  I like my men burly and I’ve never entertained the notion of playing around with another woman.  I’m not saying that either path is bad, I’m just saying that’s what I’m like.  That said, lady norn are frickin’ HAWT.  They’re not some waif that could blow away in a stiff breeze, no.  These women were built to be heroes.  Now they’ve got the ink to prove it.

I would like to note that I find the stars utterly ridiculous.  Number 7 is definitely my favorite.  It reminds me of notches on a belt, badges of conquest.  Plus it’s primal as all get out.

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I Like Mutton Chops On My Beefsteak

You know what time it is? It’s NORN TIME!  Unleash your inner animal and take a look at the hair options for the beefiest of Tyria’s men.  I have no idea if the beards have sliders to make them larger or smaller.  It would certainly be a nice addition but personally I don’t think it’s very likely.

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The Most Awesomest Evening

You want to know what one of the most depressing things is?  During High School and early College I fancied myself quite the poet, and about my early College experience I wrote: Loneliness is laughter a room away.

It’s quite melodramatic, I know, but my point is there’s nothing quite like knowing other people (especially your friends) are having fun without you to make you feel like crap.  Over the past months a lot of people in Relics have been knocking out vanquishes and racking up points in their Monument Halls.  I’ve very much wanted to come, but our times don’t mesh (at all) and I can’t afford the drop in performance at work that would come with staying up ’till all hours of the night to tear Snake Dance a new rear-end.

My experience was much the same last night.
“Oh hey, we’re going to go do this awesome fun thing.”
me: “Hey cool!”
“Oh, but it’s late, so you can’t come with.”
me: “Boo hoo!”

So I wallowed around for a little while and then remembered that Jim, with The Notorious [PIG], made me a build for my Mesmer that combines everything I like.  I don’t actually like making builds, but if you give me one I’ll tweak and play with it an have a lot of fun.  It’s an Illusionary Weaponry build that brings a pet along for extra fun.  As luck would have it I had (or had easy access to) every skill I needed except for You Move Like A Dwarf.

So I was hanging out in the PIG vent, listening to the tumbleweeds, when Mom logged on.  Now, she’s not my mom, I don’t even know the person whose mom she is, but that’s what everybody in PIG calls her and her phonetic is something like “Don’t make me spank you”.  Pretty intimidating.

But she was nice and said hi and when I told her I was off to hunt the NornBear she was game to come along.

We started out pretty well, then I realized that my fancy pants new IW Pet build didn’t have a pet!  Outside the Eye of the North I cast around for a friendly warm body and saw only polar bears.  I didn’t want a stinky polar bear!  What animals are available in Eye of the North?  Eagles!  I wanted an eagle, nothing else would do.  So we set off for Gunnar’s Hold and I’m keeping a weather eye out for eagles, frequently minimizing Guild Wars accidentally by holding Alt to look for eagles while hitting Tab to target an enemy to attack.  D’oh.  Thankfully Mom was patient with me.

Eventually we find one.  I squeal in glee and run up and start charming it.  My companion pipes up in vent, “Would you like to kill it or should I?”  I’m sure my resultant pule of dismay sounded positively heart-wrenching.  Either way, the eagle was feather-dust, and I still had no pet.  There were apologies all around and promises to stay far back when next I found another feathery target friend.

It wasn’t until we left Gunnar’s Hold that I found another.  I flagged the heroes back,  Mom lurked behind, and I began to charm.  Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that the range of Charm Animal is REALLY FARKING FAR.  Koss decided I needed rescuing and before I could fumble my clumsy cursor to tell him “No!” my second eagle was a red smear on the snow.

Fine, fine fine.  That one was my fault.  I should’ve had my heroes on passive or put them farther away.  Chapter read, lesson learned.  Our third eagle we found soon after entering into Drakar Lake.  I squealed (again) in delight and went to tame him, but then a Wild NornBear appeared!  It used Charging Spirit.  It’s Super Effective!

Wait, what?  We mopped up the NornBear, killed some meddling centaurs, then I flagged my heroes back at the entrance to the zone and Mom joined them.  Then I charmed my eagle just like that and it was all rather anticlimactic.  Over the course of journeying to Sifhalla, defending the place, hooking up with another PIG member, Fend, then hooking up with yet another, Dave, I hemmed and hawed over what to name the thing.

At first I tried Hitchcock.  Because what’s more awesome than a bird named after the father of The Birds?  However, Arenanet wasn’t amused and wouldn’t allow the name on account of dirty words, intended or not.  I settled on naming him David, after Roland of Gilead’s pet bird when he was just a gunslinger in training.  I’ve been reading The Dark Tower.  It was David or Blane, because he was such a pain to get.  Blane is a pain but you have to take the train…..

Funny story though!  Not five minutes after my (now level 7) eagle was christened David, someone (I think it was Fend) asked me if I’d rather have a Jingle Moa instead.  Would I?  WOULD I!  Heck yes I’d like a Jingle Moa!  Where do I dump this stupid eagle?

What can I say, it’s tough being my animal companion.

So I dumped the eagle in a cardboard box at the trainer behind the Eye of the North and picked up a Jingle Moa quick as you please.  He didn’t even try to bite me while I was charming him, how’s that for a match made in heaven?

I wanted to name him Snowball’s Chance, but that’s far more than twelve characters and Snow’s Chance didn’t have the same feeling of the ludicrous.  Ultimately it was one of the PIG folks who christened him (I feel terrible for being incapable of remembering who).  We called him White Meat.  Apparently there’s someone running around with a black moa named Dark Meat.  Seeing as I have a long history of pink pets named Floyd, I felt the name fit perfectly. (I’m sure I’ll eventually get over associating the name ‘white meat’ with Detta Walker’s fowl mouth)

It was about this time, I think, that we lost Mom, but we continued on anyway.  We ran Dave’s character (One of many, apparently in PIG they don’t call someone ‘hardcore’ anymore, they use the term ‘davecore’) up to Sifhalla, defended the town, and then went hunting for NornBear /steaks/.  It was during these escapades that they told me about a quick-as-you-please pet leveling guide on the PIG forums.  They told me it should only take 20-30 minutes.  Perfect!

So eventually they had enough for the night and I had a pet to level anyway, so we said our goodbyes and I trotted off to the PIG forums to find what I needed.  The guide involves bringing three heroes with specific skills.  One of them was Well of Power.  I didn’t have Well of Power, nor did I feel like romping off into the great beyond to capture it.  I know! I’ll buy it with Balthazar faction!

I only had 800 faction points.  @#*$!

I’m not sure what possessed me, thinking that PvP would be a quick and easy way to get some faction.  More often than not, it isn’t.  But Lyssa’s blessing was with me last night and luck walked at my side.  I hopped over to my monk, threw on my Random Arenas build and ran off to kick some ass.

Our first group was lucky.  There was myself, a monk, with another monk, a dervish, and something else.  I say something else because for some reason he was offended by having two monks in his /random/ party and left after we won our first game.  More’s the loss for him.

In our next battle an assassin joined us.  From then on we were unstoppable.

The other monk’s build was very similar to mine, but different enough that we complemented each other quite well.  The dervish and the assassin were wicked damage dealers, able even to take down the monks in the couple two-monk teams we found ourselves faced against.  Most battles were flawless victories, about half saw our opponents giving up immediately.  Some even cursed us.  That one I didn’t understand.  It’s a random group, we weren’t in the same guild, and we definitely weren’t trying to synch.  We just got lucky.  I didn’t let the cursing bother me, however.  After all, we were winning.

One game was particularly entertaining.  One person left off the bat, two we killed easily, and the last, a warrior with Sprint decided to go jogging.  He ran us around the map for the full time of the match.  It was ridiculous, but not infuriating.  My team took it pretty well and we laughed it off easily.

The groups we had the most troubles with featured mesmers, most often more than one.  The other monk and I began coordinating our casts of Spotless Mind and after a few instances of simultaneous pinging (which always made me laugh) we found our groove and powered through.

I’m sure we could have kept on winning all night, but Random Arena consecutive victories cap out at 25 and as soon as we won our 25th match there was much back-thumping and congratulations all around.  Once back in Balthy’s place I checked my Faction.  I had over 6,000, plenty enough to purchase Well of Power.

As my husband hustled me off to bed (I was 30 minutes past my bed-time) I shared a variation of a popular Chuck Norris joke on twitter:

Two monks, an assassin, and a dervish walk into Random Arenas….. There were no survivors.

Tall Tales Taste Like Sour Grapes

Not that ArenaNet is telling tall tales, but I do have sour grapes, and no vat in which to ferment them.

If you’ve known me personally for any significant length of time you’ll know that I can have some deep issues with jealousy. You can safely assume then, that reading ArenaNet’s latest blog  was genuinely difficult for me.

When I first heard whispers about being able to chat with my friends and guild-mates while not connected to the game, I was over the moon ecstatic.

Then my place of employ blocked everything fun.

Everything.

I am hog-tied and ham-strung here. These fancy mobile applications sound super fun and being able to interact with my friends on my breaks at work sounds fantastic.

I-device and Android. That’s pretty choice.

Not that I can afford either of them anyway.

Wiki integration with the game sounds absolutely great. Before the Great Laptop Crash I enjoyed the benefit of two monitors, one on which to play and the other on which to reference various things out of game. (or one for photoshop and the other for 3D software, when I was feeling studious) I developed a habit for playing in windowed mode and enjoyed having everything at my fingertips. When I was forced to fall back on my husband’s computer (pushing into its 6th year now) my performance suffered drastically because I refused to give up all my little extras.

I get the impression from the article that the mobile map functionality will be available to active players as well. That does a lot to soothe my jealous ruffled feathers.

I feel a lot like I did in kindergarten. I was relegated to playing with My Little Ponies in the corner while the other kids talked about how cool the new Chip N’ Dale cartoon was. When I tried to join in they said there was no way I could have seen it because I was not cool enough.

I tried logic, citing what happened in the episode, but logic doesn’t work on 5-yr olds.

Either way, I was excluded and not allowed to join in the fun. My fear is that my inability to network socially will once again cut me out of all the fun.

Nobody will like me anymore.

My acne will come back.

I’ll gain more weight.

And I will continue toiling away in my life of obscurity.

What a nest of vipers a simple smartphone application can open eh?  I am perfectly aware of my various neuroses.  I tend to care for them like spoiled rotten pets.

In other news, I received my new Motherboard today! It’s an Asus AMD 890FX. After the motherboard the only thing I need is RAM (I’ve got my eye on a 4Gb stick of DDR3 1333. GSkill Ripjaws, ooh-yeeeeah)

Have some naked Norn, that makes everything better right?

I took some advice and gave him double-flails instead of a mace and shield. Flail > Mace… right?  Also, references!

Norn Have No Need Of Armor!

You have been warned.

I’m doing this image old-school.  Meaning there will be no formal outline, it’ll be completely painted WITH a background.

That also means it’s going to take a

long

ass

time.

15-45 minutes every day a quick painting does not make.  So this time I would like to share my works in progress (or as we say in the biz, WIPs).

And no, I didn’t intentionally make him a south paw.  It just happens that way when I’m flipping the image.  The final image will have him facing the other way I think.

And before you get all up in arms about him not being beefy enough for a norn

1) It’s a young norn, just learning to become the bear and

b) I have not yet begun to paint!

Never underestimate the power of a Woman’s imagination >:3

One more thing, this won’t be explicit.  If I do end up leaving him naked there will be something covering his crown jewels. So never fear to check back on this thinking you might one day get an eyefull of giant norn wang. 😉

CONFIRMED! Tigerfeet is NOT Clairvoyant

The second one was the warrior. That big hulking Nornboy in the back.

I’m on lunch and haven’t read a lick of the good stuff yet. I expect to come home to either a frothing husband or I shall get the joy of telling him about it myself.

Also, LOOK!

Words cannot express my excitement at the confirmed existence of tiger stripes. (at least on male charr)